by Ligia Houben | Aug 29, 2019 | Blog US
As I was doing my reflection this morning, I was pondering what life is all about and thought about the famous words of Socrates, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Are we taking the time to examine our life at a deep level?
It dawned on me that many of us live on autopilot. We wake up each morning after the alarm goes off, we prepare our coffee, get dressed, and we head to work. Many of us just go through the motions.
Once we get to work, we take care of our tasks throughout the day in an automatic fashion instead of thinking, instead of planning, instead of having a goal with meaning, instead of doing things with a purpose. Making a phone call with a purpose. Writing a report with a purpose. Talking to our loved one with a purpose.
Moreover, we may even want to start being more mindful when we are having lunch or dinner. Because… sometimes we just eat and before we realize it, the food is gone and we wonder: Where did it go?
The same thing happens with life. We may realize one day we just ate all the food off our plate and… we may ask ourselves:
• Where did it all go?
• What did I do with it?
• How did I spend my time?
• Did I spend it complaining or enjoying it?
• Did I spend my time loving or fighting?
• Did I spend my time helping or hurting others?
• Did I spend my time getting to know myself or ignoring my needs?
• Did I spend my time being grateful or regretting?
• What have I done with my time?
It is when we come to such realizations that we gain more awareness of what life is all about. This realization may happen during a pivotal moment in our lives, or when confronting a huge loss. It is at that moment that we make choices. We can either dwell on the pain or transform it into an opportunity to grow, to find more meaning, to become a better version of ourselves.
People have asked me, when they know the title of my book “Transform Your Loss”, Ligia, how can we transform a loss? I respond that it all starts with our response to the loss. We cannot avoid experiencing grief, it is the natural response to loss. Still, many times it is that pain, that loss, what will help us open our eyes to other possibilities; open our eyes to what is important; open our eyes to ask ourselves “What am I doing? Where am I now and where do I want to go?” Because tomorrow will be the result of the choices we make today.
It is not possible to live wandering around expecting tomorrow to be bright. It is not possible just to allow things to come into our lives – we need to make them happen. This reminds me of the words of my father, Julio C. Martínez: Success is hard work disguised as good luck.
Sometimes things happen out of luck, but most of the things we get in life at all levels – physical, social, emotional, financial, or spiritual – depend on the actions we take.
They depend on our choices.
Remember….your life has meaning!
Have a beautiful day!
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Jul 28, 2019 | Blog US
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You can motivate yourself by giving you the right message.
Nobody can do it for you. People may want to motivate you to have a change in your life, but you must have the desire to have that change.
There are times in our lives when we may lack the desire, especially when facing a loss and feeling down.
Still, if you consider it’s about time to feel differently consider this:
There is a difference between wishing and doing.
If you really want to change your life, you need to take action.
What is the first step you are taking today?
Remember…your life has meaning!
Ligia M. Houben
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by Ligia Houben | Jul 24, 2019 | Blog US
Some time ago, I heard an interview of Reid Tracy with Suze Orman on Your Relationship with Your Money Begins with Your Relationship with Yourself. I felt compelled to write this message today because I believe this is related to other areas of our lives. If you are like many people who wonder how to be wealthy or make more money, you may want to take a closer look to your inner self and reflect on what is stopping you from achieving what you want to achieve.
How are you becoming an obstacle into your own financial growth?
You know you can do something about it, but you do not do it. The same applies to all areas of our lives. Many people go to seminars, read books, or listen to TEDx talks. They receive powerful information. They gather it and then, they do not do anything about it. Why is this? As Suze said, the attitude we have towards money says something about us. I think this applies to all areas of our lives, and that is where we need to pay attention to. I firmly believe one of the obstacles or challenges we may find in our lives is the way we deal with losses. We either ignore them, or we dwell on them. Then, when we want to achieve goals, let’s say financial goals, or health-oriented goals, we may find ourselves lacking either motivation or discipline. Why is this? We may find ourselves stuck in a situation from the past which still haunts us today.
I can give you an example. As you may know, I am a Life Coach, and sometimes people come to see me with the desire of achieving a specific goal. This could be to better their relationships (or start a new one); change careers, or even to start writing a book. They want to do these things, but…they feel stuck! It is only when we start exploring what has happened in their lives, that we find out they have gone through a loss which was never processed. They had stayed in that dark place (not knowing at a conscious level they were “emotionally” frozen in time. Once they confront the loss, process it, and release the pain, that they can free themselves from this heavy burden. It is when they regain control of their lives. I have seen amazing breakthroughs in all dimensions: physical, emotional, spiritual, social, and financial!
This is one of the reasons why this interview resonated so much with me. Our relationship with money says a lot about us. So, if you start facing the situation you are facing now and take action, or if you let go of fear (many times, this emotion prevents us from developing financially), and start embracing qualities such as self-responsibility and self-discipline, the quality of your life will change 180 degrees. Not only the relationship you have with money but the relationship you have with others and…with yourself.
Have a beautiful day,
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Jul 17, 2019 | Blog US
New beginnings can be promising. New beginnings can be scary. It all depends on our perspective and attitude. Every beginning involves change and most of us like what is familiar. Many of us do not welcome change. Still, everything changes. Life changes. Things change. People change.
So, what happens if our life is confronting a major change? How do we respond to it? Are we excited with the idea of a new beginning? Are we afraid of the unknown? Do we dwell on the pain this change is causing to us, or do we open our hearts to find ways of growing, enjoying, and transforming?
Furthermore, in many instances, we need to make decisions which involve change and we delay them because of fear of the unknown. We may limit ourselves to new possibilities because we do not trust in our ability to embrace new beginnings. If you are facing a transition in your life, take a pause and reflect. How are you handling this experience? Are you afraid or courageous? Are you enthusiastic or dispirited? Do you have faith or lack of hope?
As you evaluate your attitude, remember that you may not have control over some changes that happen in your life. Nevertheless, you still have control over how to respond. It all starts with acceptance. Know in your heart, you can choose how this change will impact your life.
If you need to take some time to meditate and connect with your inner self, do it. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to share with others how you feel, do so. Do not deny your emotions; validate them. Focus on how you want to feel, and make it happen.
You never know if this change will make the greatest difference in your life.
Embrace it with an open mind and an open heart.
Remember…Your life has meaning!
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Jul 10, 2019 | Blog US
If you are one of those persons who constantly state,
I am so stressed out!
I do not have time for anything!
Life was more relaxed before!
I feel so overwhelmed!
What price are you paying for feeling this way, in your personal relationships? Your health? Your job’s performance? The quality of your life?
Many people feel they are victims of what is happening to them.
Do you feel you are one of them? What are you doing about it?
Do you expect things will get better by themselves or are you taking action?
It all starts with our mind. It all starts with our attitude. It all starts with our commitment.
I once heard a wonderful audiobook by the world-known speaker Jim Rohn, where he said these wise words:
If you want to be successful, study success!
If you want to be happy, study happiness!
I tell you….if you want to be relaxed and calm….learn techniques to be calmer and relaxed.
Many people say to me: How lucky, you do not have problems!
Well…I do face many challenges in life and what I do is, I choose to respond instead of reacting.
You can also learn how to do it!
First, I have learned to choose my vocabulary. I do my best to avoid using the word problem (sometimes it slips, but I correct myself immediately!).
I choose to use the word, challenge. And then, I transform it into opportunity. Just with that slight change…my whole perspective changes.
Just like you, I face difficult situations. However, I do not allow them to control my life. As I stated before, If it is something under my control, I solve it. If it is something, I can not control, I cope with it in a mindful way, and turn into gratitude for the beautiful things I have in my life.
I’ve been through difficult life transitions. I do have challenges in my life.
Still, I have learned to handle them in a positive way.
If I can do it, so do you!
Remember your life has meaning!
Have a beautiful day,
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Jun 29, 2019 | Blog US
Fear is an emotion that influences our actions and behavior. Its purpose is to protect us from danger. Too often, however, we humans respond fearfully to false perceptions of danger. I love the definition of fear by American author, salesman and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar: False Evidence Appearing Real.
Because fear is innate to our emotions, we all experience it. What we need to evaluate is whether or not it supports us or limits our potential for living a more fulfilling life. Maybe this would be a perfect moment to reflect on how you have lived the first half of 2019. Is there a fear you experienced that has prevented you from being happier, more successful, or more peaceful?
If you had overcome that fear, how would you be today? What would you be doing? With whom would you be? If you keep this fear in 2019, what will you bring into your life? Do you want to perpetuate a situation based on fear?
There are different kinds of fears, such as:
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of failure
- Fear of abandonment
- Fear of success
Take a pause and see if you have a fear that is limiting you. Evaluate what kind of fear it is, reflect on the possible reasons as to why you have it, and start keeping a journal of your thoughts about it. Make a list of the pluses and minuses of avoiding the fear, and then make another list imagining that you have overcome your fear. Which one is more beneficial to your life? Is overcoming the fear of value to you? Based on your answers, make your decision….and take the first step. Keep in mind…you have choices!
Remember…your Life is Meaningful!
Ligia M. Houben
