by Ligia Houben | Sep 24, 2018 | Blog US
As I work with many people going through losses or life transitions, I have been able to see the effect our attitude has on how we handle the situation.
Some people face a small problem and find themselves hopeless, afraid, or with no motivation. Other people face huge losses and are able to withstand their pain and even become better persons.
What is the difference between these two groups of people?
I have to say it is their attitude. Although some people dwell on the negative and the pain, others use their faith, hope, and strength to keep them going. Instead of focusing on the darkness that may surround them, they choose to use their inner resources and turn on the light.
To which group of people do you belong to?
I wish you a beautiful day,
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Sep 21, 2018 | Blog US
This was the title of the talk I gave on September 15th at the volunteer’s orientation of Compassionate Care Hospice. It was an extraordinary occasion as hospice care is very close to my heart.
The orientation was prepared by Mrs. Wanda Garcia, The Volunteer Coordinator and started with some words of Mrs. Mimi Israel, The Executive Director. She talked about the service they offer and the concept of a multidisciplinary approach because this is what hospice provides. They have a physician, a nurse, a social worker, a chaplain, and volunteers. They all play an essential role in the care they receive. The purpose of the volunteer is to add to the emotional and spiritual well-being of the patient and their families. I shared with the group that many years ago I had also been a hospice volunteer and how that experience impacted my life in a significant way. When we are attending a person who is dying, we enter a sacred space. It is intimate; it is personal; it is unique. We want to bring our love and care to this space as we want to make those moments special for the person. Death is a natural process and generally we don’t talk about it. We try to stay away from even saying the word death. However, it will happen to all of us and our loved ones. It is essential to be aware of this reality and learn more about the services that hospice offers as it can really make a difference in your lives and the lives of those you care for. Many times, people who want to volunteer for hospice care have experienced this care with their loved one; others have not. In my case, I had never experienced it. Still, being a thanatologist (a person who studied death and dying), I learned about its value and wanted to open my heart to this experience. It will always stay in my heart. I stopped being a volunteer because I had to start taking care of my beloved elderly mother.
What made me choose the title Transforming Yourself When Helping Others for my presentation? I picked it because I profoundly believe in the power of giving; in the power of helping others; in the power of volunteering. When we talk about Hospice, is a unique type of volunteering. We are accompanying a person in their last days, in their last stage of life…their dying. The moment we are honored to have this privilege…our life is transformed. We witness intimate moments. Many times they open their hearts to the volunteer and share their most intimate thoughts and wishes. It is a blessing to be part of that process. When one is a hospice volunteer, one understands more about life after accompanying the dying. It is a very spiritual experience. If you feel moved to do this type of volunteering, listen to your heart and give yourself the opportunity to be transformed at this level. It will add meaning to your own existence.
I wish you a beautiful day and remember…your life has meaning!
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Aug 31, 2018 | Blog US
We have the blessing of living in a free country where we can become whoever we want to be, do whatever, we want to do and go wherever we want to go.
Still, many times we choose to stay in the same place; doing things we do not enjoy doing or dreaming to be the person we wish to be.
Why is this? What holds us back if we have the freedom in our hands?
As I reflect on this incongruence I realize that some of the chains that keep us prisoners in our world are imposed by us. We are responsible for not being “free.”
We put restraints in our capacity of growing, learning, of loving. We set limitations, which start in our thoughts and expand into our behaviors.
Do you feel you have some limitations in your life? I invite you to evaluate every dimension of your life: physical, emotional, social and spiritual.
And then decide if you want to be free…
Remember…your life has meaning!
Ligia M. Houben
Keep reading Ligia’s Blog. Be grateful for who you are.
by Ligia Houben | Aug 28, 2018 | Blog US
We are living in amazing times! Because of technology, in a matter of seconds, we can get in touch with anybody in any part of the world. The world has become more integrated. We can communicate via email, video conferences, phone, text…We are so connected! But wait…are we really connected? We may be connecting with the outer world and yet… Are we connected with ourselves? What about our inner world? Do we know who we at a deep level? Or are we just scratching the surface of our being?
In the guided meditation classes I facilitate, one of the suggestions I give to the participants is to take that time to connect with their inner selves. I ask them to take that time, to let go of the external world, and go within themselves.
We are so connected with the outer world that we are risking losing connection with what matters the most… our inner self.
Moreover, because I believe we all have a divine essence; we may lose that connection with the Higher Power, the Divine Source….God.
Life is precious, and it is so unpredictable. Today we are here. Tomorrow we may be gone. We do not know. Each day is a gift, therefore live it fully, connected, not diverted by mundane distractions. Moreover, do not allow negative emotions to rule your life, as they can only lower your sense of happiness and spirituality.
This can be challenging because sometimes we find ourselves in a dark place when we just want to shut the door. You can take this as an opportunity to ponder over what is going on with your soul and how to bring solace and peace to your inner self.
I know we live busy lives and the world is moving at a very fast pace; however, we can always find the time to connect with ourselves and grow spiritually, despite being surrounded by noise and distractions. The best example I can share with you is a scene from the movie Baraka, which we recently discussed in our movie forum at The Center for Transforming Lives. The scene is about a Buddhist monk who is doing a walking meditation in the busy downtown Japan. One can see people walking in a hurry around him, and the monk is totally connected with his spirit, as he repeats a mantra and softly rings a bell. What a concept!
It is up to us to continue using the excuse of being too busy, too hurt, or too distracted…the choice is always ours.
You do not need to connect at a spiritual level if you do not want it.
Still…if you want to experience life at a deeper level, give yourself a chance.
Find a spot in your inner self and make the connection. This may be the wisest decision you can make.
Remember…your life has meaning!
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Aug 14, 2018 | Blog US
Little things are numerous and therefore become important.
Julio C. Martínez A.
As we start a new year let’s choose an attitude that will help us achieve dreams, goals, make changes, and become a better version of ourselves. Only one day takes us from one year to the next, however, psychologically it can have a great impact in our lives. We decide if we want to make it a meaningful year or just another year.
How many times we live life just going through the motions? Sometimes we get involved in minor things that prevent us from focusing on the big things. My father used to say little things are numerous and therefore become important. For some reason, lately I have this thought in my mind and I will live this year inspired by these words. Although “my” new year tends to be on my birthday, I started applying this motto on January 1st. I want to be inspired by his words as one of the things I want to finish is his biography, which has been in the make for some time now. I feel in my heart this is the year to make it happen.
January can be symbolic as it makes us take a closer look to our lives and decide which of the following areas needs improvement: relationships, health, career, finances, personal growth or spirituality. Where are you in these areas? Are you satisfied with all of them? As we start the second week of 2016 have you already started to take action? Research shows that less than 10% achieve their new year’s resolution (http://www.forbes.com/sites/dandiamond/2013/01/01/just-8-of-people-achieve-their-new-years-resolutions-heres-how-they-did-it/ )
What does this show to us? Do people lack commitment or hope for a change without taking action?
If you are one of the later persons don’t despair! You are on time to make it happen as the first step to make a change is to be aware of it. You still have 50 weeks! Isn’t this great? The following steps will help you get closer to achieve what you want in 2016.
Step 1. Feel in your heart the desire to make that change; achieve that goal; become that person you want to be.
Step 2. Decide what you want to achieve and state it in the positive. Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, you focus on what you want.
Step 3. Make a plan of action and start right away. Remember the words of my father that little things become important. Little distractions count as well as little wins. Focus on the later.
If you live in Miami and want to make everlasting and meaningful goals join me on Jan 30th at The Center for Transforming Lives, where we will be creating goals with purpose to live a meaningful year.
Many blessings to you and your loved ones in 2016!
Remember…your life has meaning!
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Aug 14, 2018 | Blog US
In this busy world we are living do you ever wonder how your life is evolving? Where are you going?
Where have you been?
The day I do the greatest evaluation of my life is on my birthday, which was a few days ago. As I unwrapped the gift of a new year of life, I felt my heart filled with joy and gratitude. I sat down to reflect on where I have been and where I am going. The main reason I do this exercise is first, to be grateful for the beautiful things that happened in the year, and to make sure I had processed any challenge or loss I may have encountered. Another reason to do this evaluation is to do a balance of my achievements and my mistakes, so I can learn from the mistakes and make an action plan for the year to come.
In this message, I will share with my greatest achievement and my greatest lesson.
This past year was an important year in my professional life, and I am grateful. I joined the PESI (link) family and started presenting nationwide the seminar “Transforming Grief and Loss.” This has been very close to my heart as it is based on the 11 Principles of Transformation® the system I created to help people transform loss into growth. I also wrote a book with the same title, which has also been a source of joy. However, the greatest of my achievements was to finish writing the book about my father’s life. And…what makes it the biggest win? The fact that I have realized once more that our loved ones continue living in our hearts. My greatest purpose has been to immortalize my father’s message in a book.
Now, what about my greatest lesson to learn? It has been, to know how to self-manage. I am not saying to learn time management, but self-management. We all have 24 hours a day, it all depends on what we do with the time. It has to do with being able to prioritize; to evaluate what is important, and what can wait; to learn how to balance our personal and professional life; it is to embrace more me-time and be able to say no. I had a conversation with a client about the challenge we have with having too much to do. It seems we are always in a hurry! If we load our plate with too much food, it can give us the sensation we are “stimuli overload” and at the end, we are not having quality of life. In the seminars I do with PESI, one of the losses we explore is “loss of self” as we get buried under so many roles and responsibilities. At times these roles just happened. Other times, we allow them to happen; even when we are grieving. We may not take the time to grieve because we are too busy.
Because of this realization, my commitment this year is to manage myself in a better way. I want to let go of spending time in minor things and concentrate on what matters most. Life is precious. Life is short. Life is a gift. Therefore, instead of ripping off the paper as I unwrap it, I want to pull out the ribbons and open it in a delicate and loving manner.
How are you opening your gift?
Remember…your life has meaning!
Ligia/18
