by Ligia Houben | Feb 25, 2021 | Blog US
I feel your essence all around.
Your clothes are impregnated with your smell.
Your smile is the constant in your photos.
Your faith lives in me and it is my rock.
Your joy is the inspiration to welcome every day.
Your perseverance is my engine for dealing with obstacles.
Your love for life is the source of my smile.
Your resilience is the motivation to overcome challenges.
Your love for God and the Virgin lives in me.
It is because of this feeling that I honor your memory and I can confirm,
that you are still alive in my heart and soul.
Your love will always live within me.
Your daughter,
Ligia del Carmen
by Ligia Houben | Feb 25, 2021 | All
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by Ligia Houben | Feb 17, 2021 | Blog US
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is Optional.
Haruki Murakami
Often in our lives, we go through situations that may cause us pain, and instead of letting go of this pain, we keep it in our hearts and ask ourselves, Why me? It is natural and human to resist pain; however, if you continue asking ourselves that question, we may stay stuck in the suffering.
If we keep it in our hearts, we continue feeding the pain instead of lessening it, and it becomes more significant, stronger, and more powerful. It may even control our moods, our interpersonal relationships, and the quality of our lives.
Do you want this to happen? Do you want to perpetuate this feeling in your heart? Or are you ready to let go of past losses or regrets? It depends on what you want. It will depend if you open your heart and welcome the possibility of being happier or if you remain to be stuck, bitter, and upset.
The first thing you can do to let go of any suffering is deciding to let it go. Keep in mind that we do not have control over many events in our lives. However, we always have control over our thoughts. After validating and processing your pain (writing, talking to someone, doing some rituals), choose an emotion you want to feel instead. At this moment, I am grieving the loss of my beloved mother. I know facing a significant loss is painful, still, because I want to continue honoring her, I choose to have peace in my heart.
How can you transform your suffering?
What emotion do you want to experience instead?
As you transform your loss, you transform your life.
Ligia M. Houben
www.the11principlesoftransformation.com
by Ligia Houben | Jan 22, 2021 | Blog US
Don’t Tell me
It’s about time you didn’t feel that way;
You’ve been mourning for too long;
Don’t keep going to the cemetery;
It’s not good for you to talk so much about her;
She wouldn’t like to see you cry;
She’s now resting/
Tell me better
I accompany you in your pain;
I’m here in case you need to talk;
I understand it’s painful to lose such a close loved one;
I don’t know what to tell you, I’m just listening;
I support you in whatever you need me.
What I need is your understanding, not your judgment…
Your affection, not your imposition…
Your support, not your criticism…
What I need are your friendly hand and your big heart.
Ligia M. Houben
A bereaved daughter
by Ligia Houben | Jan 8, 2021 | Blog US
On the last night of 2020, I suddenly realized the year had taken the last year of your life; it was taking the final moments I shared with you. The last laughs, the last hugs, the last looks, the last prayers. 2020 ripped from the depths of my heart, your physical presence; however, your essence has remained in every corner of my soul, as in every corner of my home.
It is present in our family conversations, in church during Sunday’s mass, in visits to the cemetery, in my visits to Macy’s, to Walgreens, to Publix. It is present in every place I visited either with you or to buy something for you. 2020 took your last moments of life, and as I realized that, my heart turned upside down.
However, I turned my gaze to the year just to begin, 2021, and my face brightened up with a smile. I felt an illusion in my heart and a reborn purpose as it was filled with meaning. This year, I am going to share your story. This year, I will finish the project that I started a few months after your departure to heaven.
I will complete my project of portraying your life, your laughter; your love; your enthusiasm, and your achievements; I will share your philosophy. It is a celebration of your life to keep your legacy in our family. You were sunshine, a remarkable human being, and I want to portray your essence between stories and photos.
As was my father’s project that you enjoyed so much when I gave it to you, this project fills every fiber of my being with enthusiasm.
It fills me with meaning; fills me with purpose.
This is the main reason to welcome this year with joy and with an open heart, full of hope, for I will make your life immortal in a book.
Love
Ligia del Carmen
