by Ligia Houben | Nov 9, 2024 | Blog US
When I first met Claudia C. Castillo, I was deeply moved by her story. Her journey is one of profound transformation, embodying the possibility of moving from a place of suffering to a place of honoring with love which is the message that lies at the heart of what I share with those who grieve. Although our pain is natural, rooted in the deep love and loss we feel, we can choose to transform that pain into a legacy that both honors our loved ones and invites healing.
On the evening of August 27, Claudia presented her book, Symphony of the Soul. 8 Tools for Finding Joy After Loss at Books and Books in Coral Gables, Florida. I love this bookstore as I have also presented my books there, and it brings memories that touch my heart. The space was packed with people who came not only to support her mission but also to seek solace in their hearts after suffering their own losses. Witnessing this gathering was a testament to the impact of Claudia’s work.
I had shared the event details with several of my clients, believing that her message and techniques could bring them healing, and it was beautiful to see the community come together in such a heartfelt way.
Symphony of the Soul. 8 Tools for Finding Joy After Loss is more than just a book; it’s a guide that stems from the heartbreak of losing her son Álvaro Luis to an overdose. Her techniques offer a comprehensive path to personal healing and spiritual awakening.
Through her meaningful book, Claudia delivers not only practical techniques but also powerful spiritual messages she received from Álvaro Luis. Her commitment to her son’s memory becomes a gift to all of us, transforming personal loss into a message of hope, empowerment, and healing.
One of the things that Claudia and I share with our hearts is that we both write as a way to honor our loved ones and heal. This makes me feel very close to her as I know that writing becomes a sacred space where we open our hearts, and our grief finds purpose and healing. I say this with my heart as my book, Allow Me to Live My Grief…and Heal from the Inside Out, which is launching on November 19, is my way of honoring my beloved mother. When we open our hearts we are able to transform our memories into messages of love.
I’m also thrilled to announce that on Tuesday, November 12th, we will be hosting a live session on Instagram at 8 PM. This will be an opportunity for us to connect and share stories. We invite you to join us for this heartfelt gathering, where we hope to inspire healing and honor the memories of our loved ones.
Symphony of the Soul. 8 Tools for Finding Joy After Loss, invites all of us to heal and transform our loss.
Claudia’s story reminds us that healing is possible and that in honoring our loved ones, we can create a legacy that uplifts the human spirit. Her journey teaches us that even through profound grief, we can choose love, embrace purpose, and find strength in the bonds we share.
From my heart to yours,
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Nov 1, 2024 | Blog US
Grief is a journey many of us avoid walking. Furthermore, when we lose someone dear to us, we find ourselves navigating this path with no map, only the raw reality of pain and longing. Writing Allow Me to Live My Grief…and Heal from the Inside Out was not just a creative endeavor but a calling—a need to reach out to others traversing this complex journey of grief and healing, and offer them the comfort, wisdom, and compassion I have gathered from my personal and professional experiences.
What Inspired Me to Write This Grief Healing Book
This book emerged from my own profound encounters with loss and grief, particularly the passing of my beloved mother. She lived a rich life, filling our days with joy, and when she left, she took a piece of me with her. As a grief counselor and thanatologist, I had helped countless people process their grief. But losing my mother was different; it left me with a void that required me to confront my own beliefs and practices in managing grief and finding healing.
Losing my father at the young age of twelve first introduced me to this painful journey of loss, but my mother’s passing reaffirmed something crucial: grief is a universal right we all have, and living through it fully is the path to eventual healing. Writing this book allowed me to honor her memory and share the lessons I learned as a grief professional, hoping they would resonate with those who find themselves in similar pain, seeking comfort and a way to heal.
My Intention: A Safe, Compassionate Space for Healing Through Grief
Through Allow Me to Live My Grief, I wanted to create a safe space where readers can confront their pain without judgment. Grief is unique to each person, yet society often pressures us to “move on” quickly. This book counters that message by encouraging you to sit with your grief, to let it wash over you, and, in doing so, to truly heal. By sharing both my personal grief journey and the stories of others I’ve had the honor of guiding, I hope to validate your grief and empower you to find a way forward at your own pace. The exercises, reflections, and questions throughout the book invite you to make this grief journey personal, transformative, and ultimately healing.
How Allow Me to Live My Grief Can Help You Find Inner Healing
In my experience as a grief counselor, the most profound healing happens from the inside out. This book is not about “getting over” loss; rather, it’s about finding a way to carry it, transform it, and honor it. Each chapter contains practical advice on coping with grief, heartfelt stories from dear clients, and insights drawn from both personal experience and professional expertise. You’ll find guidance on facing difficult emotions, embracing self-care practices, and exploring your own unique path to healing and recovery.
This book offers more than a narrative—it provides a roadmap for those willing to turn inward, face their pain, and ultimately heal. I invite you to join me on this journey, to allow yourself to grieve fully, and to open your heart to the possibility of renewal.
An Invitation to Begin Your Healing Journey Through Grief
If you are ready to take the first step, to allow yourself the space to grieve and heal, Allow Me to Live My Grief…and Heal from the Inside Out is here for you. It’s a compassionate companion for anyone seeking to navigate the complex emotions of loss with resilience, hope, and grace. Whether you’re in the early stages of grief or have been carrying it for years, this book will guide you toward inner peace, honoring both your loss and your path forward.
Always remember that…love is eternal.
From my heart to yours,
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Oct 29, 2024 | Blog US
Grief is one of life’s most profound and painful experiences. Yet, in a world that often values moving forward over feeling deeply, we’re sometimes discouraged from fully processing our grief. Ignoring grief, however, doesn’t lead to true healing. In fact, Allow Me to Live My Grief…and Heal from the Inside Out emphasizes that allowing yourself to experience grief fully is a vital part of the journey toward healing. This compassionate approach honors grief as a necessary process that helps us move forward in a healthy, meaningful way.
Why It’s Important to Feel Grief Fully
Many people wonder, “How can I cope with grief?” or “Why does grief take so long to heal?” The answer lies in recognizing that grief isn’t something to avoid or rush through. Ignoring or numbing grief often leads to unresolved pain, which can impact emotional and physical well-being. By allowing ourselves to feel grief fully, we allow ourselves to process our pain, ultimately creating space for a life of acceptance and inner peace.
Here’s why allowing yourself to feel grief is essential:
Releases Suppressed Emotions: When grief isn’t expressed, it builds up and may cause stress, anxiety, or even physical pain. Allowing yourself to feel enables you to release these emotions, which can reduce tension and help you find peace.
Builds Self-Compassion: Embracing grief is an act of kindness. It tells you, “It’s okay to feel this way.” When you accept grief as a part of the healing journey, you’re fostering self-compassion.
Strengthens Emotional Resilience: Experiencing grief helps build resilience, equipping you to handle future challenges with more strength and understanding.
Honors the Memory of Loved Ones: Fully experiencing grief allows you to keep the memory of loved ones alive, integrating their impact into your life story.
How to Cope with Grief: Steps for Healing
Knowing that “feeling grief is essential for healing” is one thing, but how can you practically allow yourself to grieve? Here are some strategies that can help you cope with grief in a healthy way:
1. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve
Many people feel that grieving takes too long or that they should “move on.” Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel grief and that there’s no fixed timeline. By telling yourself, “I’m allowed to feel this way,” you’re creating space for healing.
2. Create Safe Spaces for Reflection
Healing from grief often requires safe spaces where you can freely express emotions. Set aside time for self-reflection, journaling, or simply being in a quiet place. These moments allow you to connect with your emotions and feel your grief in a supportive way.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
When you feel guilt, regret, or anger in the grieving process, treat yourself kindly. Self-compassion is key to healing and helps you understand that grief is complex, with no “right way” to feel.
4. Seek Support and Connection
Grieving alone can make the process feel even harder. Find supportive people to share your experiences with, whether it’s friends, family, or a grief counselor. Support groups can also offer comfort by connecting you with others who are experiencing similar emotions.
5. Explore Personal Rituals to Honor Loved Ones
Many people find solace in creating rituals to remember and celebrate loved ones. These can be simple, like lighting a candle, or more elaborate, like an annual memorial. Rituals provide a sense of connection and comfort, allowing you to keep loved ones in your life even as you heal.
A Compassionate Guide to Healing Grief
Allow Me to Live My Grief…and Heal from the Inside Out was crafted as a compassionate companion for those seeking a way to heal that feels true to them. The book emphasizes that healing from grief doesn’t mean forgetting or “moving on” but rather integrating the experience into your life in a meaningful way. Through self-compassion, reflection, and healthy coping techniques, readers are encouraged to see grief not as an obstacle, but as a process of profound growth and resilience.
We Can Heal from Grief
In the end, the power of allowing yourself to feel grief lies in embracing each step with acceptance. Grief is not just about loss; it’s about honoring the life and love that existed. Allowing yourself to feel each emotion as it comes is a gift you give yourself—a gift that opens the door to healing and peace.
If you’re wondering how to cope with grief or feel overwhelmed by the journey, remember that each step you take brings you closer to healing. By giving yourself the space to feel, you’ll find the strength to heal from the inside out, embracing life with renewed compassion and understanding.
From my heart to yours,
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Oct 26, 2024 | Blog US
When we lose a loved one, it’s natural to dwell on their final moments. However, I want to remind you that your loved one lived a full and meaningful life before those last days. I invite you to remember all those cherished experiences, for they are an integral part of honoring a loved one’s legacy. While their physical presence may be gone, their story, impact, and the memories they created live on in our hearts. This enduring love and influence offer a source of strength, comfort, and hope as we navigate our own path of healing from grief.
In approaching the journey of grief, it’s essential to recognize that healing from loss is not about erasing pain or forgetting our loved one. Instead, it is about honoring their life in ways that inspire growth and personal transformation. Embracing this perspective means carrying within us the essence of those we have lost, allowing their values, teachings, and memories to shape our lives moving forward. In this way, we can find meaning in loss and integrate our loved one’s legacy into our journey, empowering ourselves to live with renewed purpose.
Let’s explore some powerful ways to cope with grief and loss:
1. The Legacy of Love and Impact
Reflect on the experiences shared with your loved one and how they continue to shape your life. Keeping their legacy alive through your actions and decisions allows their teachings and values to live on. Each memory you honor strengthens the bond you share, reaffirming their presence in your life as a lasting influence.
2. Finding Meaning After Loss
Grief can become a catalyst for personal transformation, helping us to redefine our purpose. Consider ways to honor a loved one’s memory, such as creating meaningful rituals: write them a letter, visit their resting place to share life updates, or support a cause they cared deeply about. These acts can become deeply healing rituals that connect us to their spirit and keep their memory alive.
3. The Power of Storytelling in Healing
Storytelling can play a transformative role in the healing process. Sharing memories, whether verbally or in writing, keeps your loved one’s story alive and extends their influence in the world. It also allows you to work through your grief by remembering the happy, meaningful, and even challenging times you shared.
4. Healing as a Journey, Not a Destination
Recognize that grief is an ongoing journey, and it’s natural for pain to resurface from time to time. Learning to cope with grief involves keeping the love and memory of your loved one alive in your heart, allowing them to remain a part of your life as you continue forward.
Healing from grief does not mean forgetting your loved one. It means learning to live fully while carrying their love and memories with you. Embrace the idea that the legacy of those we’ve lost endures and provides us with enduring strength.
Always remember: love is eternal.
From my heart to yours,
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Jul 7, 2024 | Blog US
The Individual Nature of Grief
Grief is an emotional reaction caused by an important loss in our lives. Each of us carries our own history, shaping the way we express and experience grief. It’s crucial to remember that we should never judge another person’s grieving process based on our own reality. Grieving is a deeply personal journey, and everyone has the right to navigate it in their own way.
The Unpredictable Experience of Grief
One of the most common questions people ask is how they will experience grief. Although we might have an idea of how we might react, we can never know for sure. When faced with the loss of a loved one, our reactions can vary widely: we might scream, cry, or remain silent. We may share our grief with others or keep it to ourselves. Some find solace in writing their thoughts in a journal, while others turn to their religious beliefs for comfort. Learning to live through the process of grief is essential.
The Rollercoaster of Emotions
Grief is like a rollercoaster – it has its ups and downs, sometimes in sudden and jarring ways, other times more subtly, but it is never constant. It is unreasonable to assume that we can dictate a person’s grieving timeline. Often, just when we think the most challenging part is over, an anniversary, a birthday, or a special date can trigger a renewed sense of loss and pain. It’s vital to allow our hearts to experience these feelings fully, without repression.
Facing the Waves of Grief
Feelings of grief can hit us like a huge wave. When we see that wave approaching, we have three choices: we can ride it to the shore, run away from it, or dive into it. The best option, much like with grief, is to ride it. By facing and experiencing our grief, we honor our emotional journey and continue our life path.
The Right to Grieve
Grieving is a natural and necessary response to loss. It is our right to grieve, to feel the depth of our emotions, and to express them in ways that are true to us. Whether through tears, silence, writing, or prayer, our grief deserves to be acknowledged and respected.
Embracing Your Grieving Process
What are you experiencing right now? Take a piece of paper and write down your feelings – this simple act may help you release them and bring a sense of peace. Remember, your grief is valid, and your way of grieving is uniquely yours. Embrace it, and let it guide you through your healing journey.
From my heart to yours,
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Mar 19, 2024 | Blog US
Experiencing a crisis is an expected human experience. The question that arises is, how do we navigate a crisis not just by surviving but by thriving? It’s essential to delve deep into understanding what constitutes a crisis, its impact on us, and how we can emerge stronger.
What Defines a Crisis?
According to Merriam-Webster, a crisis is an emotionally significant event or a radical change of status in a person’s life, marking a period of instability or a crucial state of affairs where a decisive change is impending. Kendra Cherry adds a dimension by stating that in mental health terms, a crisis refers not to the traumatic event itself but to an individual’s reaction to it. This highlights the variability in human responses to the same event, underlining the power of perception in shaping our experiences.
Understanding Our Reactions
Our reactions to crises are deeply personal, tied to our unique stories and perceptions. While one might find an event paralyzingly stressful, another might shrug it off with little to no distress. This variability underscores the importance of recognizing and respecting our reactions to the same circumstances.
Common Crises and Their Impact
From the sudden loss of a loved one, and financial losses, to drastic changes in lifestyle and family disruptions, crises can take various forms, each carrying the potential to unsettle our lives significantly. Notably, even anticipated events like the death of a person with a long illness can evolve into a crisis, challenging our ability to cope.
Navigating Through Crises
Crises demand us to confront change head-on, often pushing us into ‘survival mode.’ However, there’s a profound difference between merely surviving and truly living through a crisis. Embracing the latter requires resilience, a shift in perspective, and the ability to see beyond the immediate turmoil.
Acknowledge Your Feelings:
Expressing emotions is crucial. Bottling up feelings can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical health issues.
Seek and Offer Support:
Staying connected with others and offering support can significantly mitigate the feelings of isolation and helplessness that often accompany crises.
Find Meaning and Purpose:
Use the crisis as an opportunity for self-reflection. Reevaluate your values, goals, and what truly matters to you. This introspection can lead to profound personal growth and a renewed sense of purpose.
Adapt and Grow: Recognize the transient nature of crises. Each crisis, while challenging, also presents opportunities for growth, learning, and development. Embrace change as an integral part of life’s journey and find ways to adapt constructively.
Practice Gratitude: In times of crisis, it’s easy to lose sight of the positives. Practicing gratitude can help shift focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant, fostering a more optimistic outlook.
Cultivate Resilience: Resilience is not innate but can be developed over time. Facing crises with resilience involves accepting the situation, learning from it, and finding ways to bounce back stronger.
Concluding Thoughts
Keep in mind, as Vivian Greene says: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning how to dance.” Crises, as daunting as they may seem, offer us a chance to pause, reflect, and recalibrate. They challenge us to find inner strength, embrace change, and ultimately, chart a course towards a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
As we navigate through challenging times, let’s remind ourselves that crises are not just obstacles but opportunities for growth, transformation, and renewal. Let’s not just survive but thrive, embracing each day with resilience, hope, and an unwavering belief in our capacity to overcome.
Remember…your life has meaning,
Ligia M. Houben
