The Silent Struggle of Grieving Employees
Many times, when someone experiences a loss and returns to the workplace, colleagues avoid the topic entirely. The atmosphere turns silent—as if nothing has happened. What does this silence communicate to the grieving person?
They often feel invisible. Unseen. Invalidated.
In my work with clients, I’ve seen this pattern far too often. The griever retreats into their office, overwhelmed by sorrow or frustration, crying in silence or struggling to focus. Unable to share their pain in a space that feels emotionally unsafe, their grief becomes an internal burden—unspoken, yet ever-present.
A Society That Denies Grief
We live in a society that avoids grief. In the workplace, this avoidance is magnified. There’s an unspoken expectation to “bounce back” quickly and perform at the same level as before, as if the loss never happened. When grief is ignored, absenteeism rises, not because people don’t care about their jobs, but because being in that environment is emotionally unbearable.
And so, the grieving employee puts on a mask. Pretends to be “fine.” But inside, they are broken. Their pain is hidden beneath the surface, unnoticed and unsupported.
Grief Is More Than Death
When we talk about loss, we must expand our definition. Grief is not limited to the death of a loved one. It also stems from:
Divorce
Loss of health
A significant change in identity
The loss of a dream or career path
Grief is a natural and unique response to loss. Each person grieves differently, expressing it across emotional, physical, social, and spiritual dimensions.
A grieving employee might cry (emotional), experience insomnia (physical), isolate themselves (social), or question their purpose (spiritual). What if that insomnia leaves them exhausted at work the next day? Or if irritability from grief spills over into interactions with colleagues?
Unprocessed Grief Affects Productivity
Grief that is unacknowledged or unprocessed doesn’t go away—it shows up in different forms. Emotional sensitivity, difficulty concentrating, fatigue, withdrawal, or even outbursts of anger are all potential expressions of internal pain.
Does this foster a friendly and productive workplace? Of course not.
This is why supporting grieving employees isn’t just an act of compassion—it’s a matter of organizational well-being.
Grief in the Office: A Shared Responsibility
Creating a compassionate workplace is not just the job of the manager or the owner. It involves every single person—from the front desk to the executive suite.
Everyone should have basic grief awareness to recognize when a colleague may be struggling, and to know how to respond with kindness and humanity. A grieving person doesn’t leave their sorrow at the door when they enter the building. Grief walks in with them, and it influences their energy, focus, and relationships.
Helping Employees Process (Not Suppress) Grief
The goal is not to “fix” the grieving employee or rush them back to normal. The goal is to help them feel supported and capable of navigating their loss. This requires a shift in mindset:
From performance pressure to emotional presence
From denial to validation
From isolation to inclusion
Grieving employees need tools and spaces to process their pain—not suppress it.
How to Be a Leader with Humanity
You don’t need a title to lead with compassion. From the person sweeping the floors to the CEO, we can all be leaders with humanity.
Here are simple ways to start:
Pay attention. Notice changes in someone’s behavior or performance.
Practice mindfulness. Be present in your interactions—listen with your heart.
Check in. Ask, “How are you really doing?” Let them know you care.
Provide resources. Offer tools, support, and flexibility to help your team cope with loss and grow through it.
A Message from My Heart
As a grief expert, this message is personal. I’ve seen the pain that silence causes in the workplace—and I’ve also seen the transformation that happens when empathy enters the room.
We have the power to change the culture of our workplaces—one conversation, one act of kindness, one compassionate leader at a time.
This is a message of hope, of leadership with humanity, and of productivity rooted in compassion.
If you’d like to bring this approach to your organization, I’d be honored to share with you the methodology I created:
The 11 Principles of Transformation®—a framework to support your employees through grief, loss, and life transitions.
Let’s start a conversation.
From my heart to yours,
Ligia M. Houben
