As we gather around Thanksgiving this year, many of us carry a mixture of emotions in our hearts. Gratitude is a beautiful practice — one that lifts, nourishes, and grounds us — yet it often appears alongside feelings that are sensitive, emotional, or even painful. And that is completely human.
Thanksgiving invites us to pause, breathe, and acknowledge the blessings around us. But it also reminds us of who is not here… the empty chairs, the memories that return, and the moments we wish we could relive. For many people, gratitude doesn’t eliminate the sadness — it simply softens it.
There is a perspective that has brought me comfort throughout my own losses:
Gratitude and grief can coexist.
One does not cancel the other.
One does not diminish the other.
They are both expressions of love.
When we miss someone deeply, it is because their presence shaped our lives in meaningful ways. The ache in our hearts speaks to the depth of the bond, the shared memories, and the impact they had — and continue to have — on our lives. Feeling grateful for their love doesn’t erase the pain of their absence. And feeling the pain of their absence doesn’t erase the gratitude. Both are allowed. Both are real. Both are sacred.
This Thanksgiving, I invite you to honor whatever is present in your heart.
If gratitude comes easily, welcome it.
If sadness appears, make space for it.
If both arise — the gratitude and the pain — know that there is nothing wrong with you. This is the human experience in its most honest form.
You may choose to light a candle, speak your loved one’s name, or share a memory. You may take a moment of silence to connect with them in your heart. These simple rituals remind us that love doesn’t end… it transforms.
And if this year has been challenging, please remember:
Gratitude is not about pretending everything is perfect.
It is about recognizing the small lights that still shine, even in difficult times — the kindness of others, the moments of connection, the strength you’ve shown without even realizing it.
As we celebrate Thanksgiving, I want to leave you with this thought:
Gratitude is not something we arrive at. It’s something we practice gently, allowing it to meet us where we are.
And in those moments, we may find pieces of peace, comfort, and hope.
May your heart feel held today.
May you find warmth in your memories, connection in your relationships, and softness in your own presence.
From my heart to yours, I wish you a Thanksgiving filled with meaning, sensitivity, and love.
Ligia M. Houben
