Have you ever felt like your mind is playing the same thoughts over and over again? Like you wake up each day, and the same worries, regrets, or doubts are still there, circling around like they never left? You’re not alone. Research shows that we have between 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day, and what’s amazing according to Sandy Loder, is that 95% of them are the same as the day before. Even more striking, nearly 75% of those thoughts tend to be negative.
It’s like living inside Groundhog Day, the classic film where Bill Murray’s character, Phil Connors, wakes up to the same day over and over again. No matter what he does, the same events, the same frustrations, and the same struggles repeat themselves. And isn’t that exactly what happens in our minds when we’re stuck in grief, stress, or fear? We relive the same thoughts, the same pain, the same “what ifs”—trapped in a loop we don’t know how to escape. Has this happened to you?
But here’s the good news: Just like Phil eventually found a way out, so can we.
Recognizing Your Mental Groundhog Day
Our minds are wired for repetition. Thoughts create neural pathways, and the more we think the same thing, the deeper those pathways become. That’s why when we experience loss, heartbreak, or anxiety, we keep replaying the same painful memories, the same self-doubts, and the same fears. We may repeat questions like these ones:
Why did this happen?
What could I have done differently?
I’ll never feel happy again.
Just like Phil kept waking up to the same alarm and the same small-town routine, our minds keep presenting us with the same mental script. And unless we consciously change something, we’ll stay in that loop. The first step to change the loop is to be aware that we have it.
Breaking the Pattern: How to Wake Up to a New Mental Reality
In Groundhog Day, Phil finally escapes when he stops resisting and starts changing—his actions, his mindset, his response to the same circumstances. Here’s how we can do the same:
1. Become Aware of the Loop
The first step is noticing the pattern. Are you ruminating on the same thoughts every day? Are they helping you, or are they keeping you stuck? Writing them down or practicing mindfulness can make these loops more visible.
2. Shift from Judgment to Awareness
Instead of fighting your thoughts, observe them. Imagine them like clouds passing by—you don’t have to chase them or hold onto them. You can let them drift away.
3. Introduce a New Script
If 95% of our thoughts are the same every day, we need to consciously introduce new ones to break the cycle. Start by asking:
What thought would I rather have today?
What’s one small thing I can do differently?
Affirmations, gratitude practices, or simply redirecting your attention can start shifting those neural pathways.
4. Take Small, Intentional Actions
Phil didn’t escape by doing the same things—he changed his behavior. He learned new skills, connected with people differently, and chose to see his circumstances from a new perspective. We can do the same. If grief or stress has kept you in a cycle of isolation or rumination, take one small action today:
Write a letter to someone you love.
Start a new ritual to honor a loss.
Take five minutes to breathe and reset.
5. Rewire Your Mind Through Transformation
Breaking free from mental repetition isn’t about pretending pain doesn’t exist—it’s about transforming it.
My book, Allow Me to Live My Grief… and Heal from the Inside Out, is for those who feel trapped in their own emotional Groundhog Day. It’s a guide to breaking free from repetitive pain, embracing healing, and stepping into a new way of living.
Your Fresh Start Begins Now
Phil Connors eventually woke up to a brand-new day—not because the world around him changed, but because he did. The same is possible for you. It all starts with us.
If you’re tired of waking up to the same thoughts, the same struggles, the same pain, it’s time to shift. Your mind is powerful, and you have the ability to break the cycle. The question is: What new thought, new action, or new perspective will you choose today?
Because the moment you change, so does your world.
Ligia M. Houben
