When Life Feels Unfair
There are moments when life doesn’t go our way. We worked hard, we hoped, we planned—and yet, the outcome is not what we envisioned. These misfortunes can leave us feeling disappointed, defeated, or even ashamed.
Often, the first question people ask themselves is: “Why did I fail?”
This question, while natural, can keep us stuck. It pushes us into blame instead of growth.
Shifting From Blame to Learning
In coaching, we see misfortunes not as final verdicts, but as experiences that bring feedback. Instead of asking “Why did I fail?”, we can shift the inner dialogue toward:
• “What can I learn from this misfortune?”
• “What is this situation showing me about myself, my process, or my environment?”
• “How can I use this experience as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block?”
This shift doesn’t dismiss the pain—it reframes it. By doing so, we move from dwelling on what went wrong to discovering how we can rise stronger.
Resources to Navigate Misfortunes
When misfortunes strike, having resources is essential:
• Inner grounding: journaling, meditation, prayer—tools that allow us to process disappointment rather than suppress it.
• Compassionate perspective: instead of labeling yourself a “failure,” recognize you faced a difficult situation that didn’t unfold as planned.
• Support networks: sharing your misfortune with others often reveals you are not alone in the experience.
• Resilient mindset: viewing misfortunes as redirections rather than dead ends.
Rising Stronger
Every misfortune carries within it the seed of strength. It may not feel like it in the moment, but as we process the disappointment, we realize: we are still here, we are still learning, and we are still capable of moving forward.
The truth is: misfortunes do not define us. What defines us is the way we choose to respond.
I invite you to this moment of reflection.
Think of a recent misfortune. Instead of asking “Why did I fail?”, try this:
“What is one insight or new perspective I can carry forward from this experience?”
From my heart to yours,
Ligia M. Houben
