by Ligia Houben | Oct 22, 2018 | Blog US
You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.
Jim Rohn
Life changes and we change along with it. If you are like me, you may be experiencing changes in life patterns, in life expectations and outcomes. What you envisioned your life to be may not be your reality anymore. What was “known” to you changes, and you may feel baffled, without energy, and hopeless. Are you feeling that way? I understand you; to feel sad and challenged is just human. However….it’s up to you how you continue feeling.
I want to use the analogy of life and the seasons. Many people have written about this analogy, being Jim Rohn one of my favorites. Jim said we all go through Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. It is not a surprise! Spring is a time of renewal, new beginnings, new opportunities! We may not even take a pause to think! We enjoy this time in our lives, expecting to last forever. We are hopeful, motivated, and filled with joy!
Then, we reap in Summer what we have sown in Spring. Although, I know that at times what we reap is not a reflection of what we sowed, because there are other variables we may not have taken into account or were out of our control. However, we can still learn from this, change our strategy, and continue renewed with expectations. We still have hope and strength. When Fall comes, is a time to cherish the good times in our lives and prepare ourselves for those times when we will experience the extreme cold of Winter.
Are you facing a Winter now? What kind of Winter is it? What are you doing about it? Are you complaining about how cold it is? Or are you lighting a fire to keep you warm? If you are experiencing an extreme cold Winter, I understand you. Recently, I have experienced a couple of Winters. However…it is up to us, if we freeze to death, or if we choose to wear a warm coat, get close to the bonfire, and know that Spring is about to arrive.
Remember…Your life has meaning!
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Oct 15, 2018 | Blog US
Whatever you want to achieve in life…follow your dream. Remember to think big, and you will be able to transform your life.
Nothing can stop, you but your own mind. Napoleon Hill, in his seminal work, Think and Grow Rich stated: “What the mind can conceive, it can achieve. ” It all starts with having the desire to make it happen.
Martin Luther King said, “I have a Dream” and he carried it on…
So, what is your contribution to this world? How can you become a better person? What is your dream?
Imagine it! Cherish it! See it in your mind and feel it in your heart!
If you face obstacles, do not dismay. Do not allow people to discourage you.
Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your dream and cheer you up.
People who “coach” you through tough times, and cherish your wins. Even small win counts!
Achieving a dream is a process (just like the grieving process); it may take time, but it does not matter. Start taking the first step today.
Even if you are facing a crisis, a difficult time, or a loss. You can still dream for a better life because…there is life after a loss, and it is precious.
So, what do you need to follow your dream? I have found these values to be of great help:
- Desire (to make it happen!)
- Believe in yourself
- Perseverance
- Self-discipline
- Self-confidence
- Having a high intention (something bigger than you)
- Resilience during challenging times
- Being optimistic
- Being flexible
- Being fearless
So, do not wait for better times to pursue your dream. The time is now!
Your life is finite, and you do not want to waste more time in dreaming what you wish you could be, do, or give.
Do it now with love, care, and…meaning.
Remember…Your Life has Meaning!
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Oct 4, 2018 | Blog US
When we are consumed by grief, we may feel we are the only persons hurting, and we may not notice the pain of others. Furthermore, we may be so blinded by our grief that we may say or do things that are hurting people we love.
If this has happened to you…do not feel ashamed, it happens to all of us. What matters the most is to be aware we are doing it and stop it at once.
Hurting others do not alleviate our own pain. It may even make it greater.
If you have hurt someone due to the pain you are experiencing, recognize it and ask for forgiveness. Yes, be humble and recognize your mistake, because it is a mistake to hurt the people we love. The moment we are able to enter the worldview of others we will be able to develop compassion and understanding. We will be able to leave our own pain aside and embrace the pain of our beloved one.
If we are proud and stay in a place of not admitting we were wrong, we will find ourselves in a cycle of hurt, pain, resentment, and more pain. At the end, you are not only hurting the other person; you are hurting yourself.
Some people choose not to say “I am sorry” out of their pride. They wait for the other person to say it first.
What about if the other person is in the same position?
Couples break-up, parents and children have dysfunctional relationships, and bosses and employees destroy relationships because of their pride.
Therefore, next time you feel you are the only person hurting, take a closer look at the person next to you. It has been said that if we leave our pain aside and understand the pain of others…our pain becomes lighter.
As you transform your loss, you transform your life!
Ligia M. Houben, MA, FT, CGC, CPC
by Ligia Houben | Sep 24, 2018 | Blog US
As I work with many people going through losses or life transitions, I have been able to see the effect our attitude has on how we handle the situation.
Some people face a small problem and find themselves hopeless, afraid, or with no motivation. Other people face huge losses and are able to withstand their pain and even become better persons.
What is the difference between these two groups of people?
I have to say it is their attitude. Although some people dwell on the negative and the pain, others use their faith, hope, and strength to keep them going. Instead of focusing on the darkness that may surround them, they choose to use their inner resources and turn on the light.
To which group of people do you belong to?
I wish you a beautiful day,
Ligia M. Houben
by Ligia Houben | Sep 21, 2018 | Blog US
This was the title of the talk I gave on September 15th at the volunteer’s orientation of Compassionate Care Hospice. It was an extraordinary occasion as hospice care is very close to my heart.
The orientation was prepared by Mrs. Wanda Garcia, The Volunteer Coordinator and started with some words of Mrs. Mimi Israel, The Executive Director. She talked about the service they offer and the concept of a multidisciplinary approach because this is what hospice provides. They have a physician, a nurse, a social worker, a chaplain, and volunteers. They all play an essential role in the care they receive. The purpose of the volunteer is to add to the emotional and spiritual well-being of the patient and their families. I shared with the group that many years ago I had also been a hospice volunteer and how that experience impacted my life in a significant way. When we are attending a person who is dying, we enter a sacred space. It is intimate; it is personal; it is unique. We want to bring our love and care to this space as we want to make those moments special for the person. Death is a natural process and generally we don’t talk about it. We try to stay away from even saying the word death. However, it will happen to all of us and our loved ones. It is essential to be aware of this reality and learn more about the services that hospice offers as it can really make a difference in your lives and the lives of those you care for. Many times, people who want to volunteer for hospice care have experienced this care with their loved one; others have not. In my case, I had never experienced it. Still, being a thanatologist (a person who studied death and dying), I learned about its value and wanted to open my heart to this experience. It will always stay in my heart. I stopped being a volunteer because I had to start taking care of my beloved elderly mother.
What made me choose the title Transforming Yourself When Helping Others for my presentation? I picked it because I profoundly believe in the power of giving; in the power of helping others; in the power of volunteering. When we talk about Hospice, is a unique type of volunteering. We are accompanying a person in their last days, in their last stage of life…their dying. The moment we are honored to have this privilege…our life is transformed. We witness intimate moments. Many times they open their hearts to the volunteer and share their most intimate thoughts and wishes. It is a blessing to be part of that process. When one is a hospice volunteer, one understands more about life after accompanying the dying. It is a very spiritual experience. If you feel moved to do this type of volunteering, listen to your heart and give yourself the opportunity to be transformed at this level. It will add meaning to your own existence.
I wish you a beautiful day and remember…your life has meaning!
Ligia M. Houben
