Single flower blooming through crack in concrete symbolizing renewal and hope after loss.

When Grief Meets Spring: A Gentle Invitation to Begin Again

Can it be a sense of renewal when grieving?
Spring is a season that whispers renewal, fresh beginnings, and hope. But when we are grieving, the arrival of spring can feel out of sync. When your heart aches and your spirit feels dormant, how do you embrace the call to begin again?

Grief doesn’t follow the calendar. It doesn’t pause for sunshine, blossoms, or celebrations. And yet, spring gently reminds us that even the deepest winters of the soul are not forever.

Renewal doesn’t mean forgetting. It means allowing ourselves to gently shift—from surviving to sensing the possibility of living again. To honor what was, while making space for what may be.

The Invitation of Spring
Grief can feel like being stuck in a long, cold season—one where color has faded, and even the brightest day feels dim. When we’re grieving, time may feel frozen, and emotions can come in waves.

Spring doesn’t ask us to leap forward. It invites us to soften. Just as the earth thaws slowly and blossoms gradually emerge, we, too, are allowed to unfold—bud by bud, moment by moment.

There is no rush. Only a quiet possibility:
That something within us may still want to bloom.

How Can We Renew Ourselves Through Grief?
This season is not about forcing a fresh start, but about gently tuning in to where we are—and what we need. If you’re wondering how to move toward renewal, even in small ways, here are some gentle practices to consider:

1. Create a Ritual of Release
What are you ready to let go of—guilt, regret, heaviness?
Write it down. Let it have a voice. Then plant those words into the earth, burn them in a safe container, or tear them into pieces and release them into flowing water.
Nature knows how to transform what we release. So do our hearts.

2. Connect with Nature

Let yourself be held by the natural world. Walk slowly. Feel the sun on your face or the breeze on your skin. Sit beneath a tree and breathe with its quiet strength.
Grief often disconnects us from the world around us. Nature invites us to remember: life continues… and you are still a part of it.

3. Tend to a Garden—or to Yourself
Plant something—perhaps herbs, flowers, or simply hope. Or tend to your body with nourishing food and kind movement.
Caring for life reminds us that we are capable of care, of love, of healing. Whether you grow a garden or water your inner soil, both are sacred.

4. Make Space for New Meaning
You may not feel ready for joy, but can you find moments of meaning? A shared memory. A comforting word. A sacred silence.
As Viktor Frankl wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Spring offers us that challenge—with tenderness.

5. Honor the One You Lost Through a New Tradition

Grief is love with nowhere to go—unless we give it direction.
Light a candle in their memory. Write them a letter. Cook their favorite meal. Volunteer or create something in their honor.
Your love doesn’t end—it transforms. Let it continue in a way that feels true to you.

Renewal Is Not a Requirement—It’s an Invitation

You are not expected to feel better simply because the season has changed. Spring doesn’t demand your healing. It simply offers a gentle whisper:
You are still here. And there is life within you.

You may still cry. You may feel joy and sadness in the same breath.
This, too, is renewal.

Grief and growth are not opposites.
They can coexist—softly, silently, and beautifully.

So whether today you smile through tears or simply sit quietly and breathe, know that this is enough.
Like spring, you are allowed to begin again—gently, and in your own time.

From my heart to yours,
Ligia M. Houben

Woman laughing amidst vibrant orange flowers symbolizing hope and resilience.

How to Start the Year with Authenticity, Hope, and Purpose

The New Year is more than just a date on the calendar; it’s an opportunity for a fresh start. What does this new chapter mean to you? Beyond traditional resolutions, it’s important to connect with what truly matters: our authenticity, our capacity to heal, and our willingness to transform our lives.

1. What Does It Mean to Live Authentically?
Living authentically means accepting and embracing all that we are, including our emotions and experiences. Starting the year this way involves:

Recognizing difficult emotions that we often try to ignore, like sadness or grief.
Honoring our losses and lessons, allowing ourselves to heal from the heart.
Listening to our inner voice, letting it guide us toward what truly matters.
Authenticity isn’t about perfection; it’s about being honest with ourselves as we move forward with intention and purpose.

2. A New Year: A Door to New Opportunities
Each New Year is like a door that opens, offering us new possibilities. Even when we face challenges, we can always decide how we step through that door. Here are some steps to get started:

Reflect: Take time to write or meditate on the lessons of the past year.
Let Go of What No Longer Serves You: Say goodbye to what doesn’t add value to your life, whether it’s habits, beliefs, or relationships.
Visualize Your Intention: Imagine how you want to feel and what actions you can take to make that happen.
Crossing this door with purpose can transform how you experience the year ahead.

3. Keys to Starting the Year with Hope and Transformation
Honor Your Lessons: Every challenge from the past has taught you something valuable. Carry those lessons with you as tools for this new year.
Open Your Heart: Allow yourself to explore new opportunities, even if they push you out of your comfort zone.
Set Intentions, Not Resolutions: Instead of rigid lists, focus on how you want to feel and the steps that will bring you closer to that.
4. Your Guide to a Year of Hope and Purpose
The key to a transformative year is living authentically. By listening to your heart, embracing your emotions, and moving forward with intention, you can create a year full of meaning, even in the face of challenges.

Keep in mind that 2025 is an open door full of possibilities. The choice of how to step through it is in your hands. Honor your emotions, focus on what truly matters, and move forward with hope. This could be the year you reconnect with yourself and transform your life from the inside out.

May this year be one of authenticity, hope, and transformation.

Happy New Year!

Remember, your life has meaning!

Ligia M. Houben

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Person sitting with head down, hands gripping hair, expressing emotional distress, in a dark setting, reflecting themes of grief and mental health.

Understanding Suicide II

I wrote this article after the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, which happened very close to each other in June 2018.  After reading the sad news about the suicide of the Olympic cyclist Kelly Catlin, I wanted to repost it again.  The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that every 40 seconds a person dies due to suicide. Death by suicide is epidemic and it is important to talk about it and to look for help when it is needed.  

According to the famous suicidologist, Edwin Schneidman, suicide happens when a person is experiencing psychache (psychological pain) which is impossible to bear. In his seminal work, Definition of Suicide, Schneidman stated that the most common emotion a person who is contemplating suicide experiences is hopelessness-helplessness. Taking this valuable information into consideration, we can take a closer and look at what is happening in our society. Based on a recent study of the Centers for Disease and Prevention in Atlanta, in the last two decades suicide has increased more than 30%.  Moreover, in The Last Dance, the textbook I used when I taught Death and Dying at Florida International University, it shows that in 2005 there were almost 30,000 suicides a year in the United States. In 2016 the CDC shows there were nearly 45,000 deaths. These statistics show an increase of 50% in 11 years.  What is provoking this increase? Who is dying from suicide and how can we prevent it?

This topic is getting a lot of attention after the unfortunate deaths from suicide of two famous people this past week, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. These tragic incidents have promoted discussion about the causes of why people would take their own lives.

The CDC report shows to us that suicide not only happens when the person suffers from a mental health condition. It may occur when the person doesn’t possess the necessary life skills to help them deal with stressful life events such as financial difficulties, job loss, and health issues among others. In older adults, the fact of growing older can also be a cause of suicide. Furthermore, it is increasing among middle-aged men as Martin Daubney points out in his article, Why does no one care when boys fail at school, and middle-aged men kill themselves? Daubney mentions a study in the UK that shows a 40% increase in suicide among middle-aged men in the last five years. In the United States, the highest suicide rate (19.72%) is among adults (45-54 years of age). 

It is important to know that suicide is happening on a significant scale and it’s necessary we start having the conversation openly, so we can focus on prevention and awareness.  In the seminars I impart nationwide on Transforming Grief and Loss.  Helping Your Clients Through Major Life Transitions, where we talk about how to build resilience, suicide is always central to our discussion.  Experiencing the loss of purpose and meaning, seems to be a major factor to lose hope for a future, and find suicide as the only way to end a life that is not fulfilling.

Let’s keep in mind that not only adults die from ending their lives, but also adolescents and children.  Among the leading causes seem to be a change of schools, peer pressure, and bullying (Grim, 2012).  In a recent seminar, a counselor at a university shared with us that 40% of her clients have suicidal ideation.

How can we help

If you know someone who is suicidal, always validate their emotions.  Remember that for them their pain may be too huge to handle, and suicide is their only way out. Allow them to talk to you about how they feel instead of diverting the conversation (e.g., you’ll be OK!), and provide support.  Please remember not to say others have it worst.  Sometimes trying to help, people make those comments, and they do not help much. Instead, provide information about hotlines and direct them to a professional that can help them find ways to cope with their life stressors.

Warning Signs

1.    Changes in personality or behavior

2.    Giving away possessions

3.    Talking about killing themselves or the desire to die

4.    Changes in eating and sleeping patterns

5.    Isolation

6.    Using alcohol or drugs

Risk Factors

1.    Feelings or hopelessness

2.    Mental disorders

3.    Health issues

4.    Previous ideation or attempts

5.    Substance abuse

6.    Financial losses

7.    Relationship problems

8.    Job loss

9.    Isolation and lack of resources

10.    Loss of a loved one

11.    Lack of purpose or meaning

12.    Fear of aging

13.    Lack of coping skills

14.    History of aggression

Lastly, let’s all keep in mind that understanding what may provoke someone to die from suicide can help increase awareness, participate in suicide prevention, and have an open and compassionate conversation.

Resources

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/how-we-can-all-prevent-suicide/

Lenaars, Antoon A.   Edwin S. Shneidman on Suicide.  Suicidology Online 2010; 1:5-18.  http://www.suicidology-online.com/pdf/SOL-2010-1-5-18.pdf

Schneidman, Edwin. PhD (1977). Definition of Suicide. Jason Aronson, Inc.: New York, NY.

Grimm, Joe, Ed. (2012). The New Bullying-How social media, social exclusion, laws and suicide have changed our definition of bullying, and what to do about it: Read the Spirit Books and Imprint of David Crumme Media, LLC.: Canton, MA

DeSpelder, Lynne Ann and Albert Lee Strickland (2005).  The Last Dance. McGrawHill: New York, NY

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/11966292/Why-does-no-one-care-when-boys-fail-at-school-and-middle-aged-men-kill-themselves.html

https://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/suicideprevent/en/

https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/10/us/olympic-cyclist-death/index.html

Follow Your Dream

Follow Your Dream

Whatever you want to achieve in life…follow your dream.  Remember to think big, and you will be able to transform your life.

Nothing can stop, you but your own mind. Napoleon Hill, in his seminal work, Think and Grow Rich stated: “What the mind can conceive, it can achieve. ” It all starts with having the desire to make it happen.

Martin Luther King said, “I have a Dream” and he carried it on…

So, what is your contribution to this world?   How can you become a better person?  What is your dream?

Imagine it! Cherish it!  See it in your mind and feel it in your heart!

If you face obstacles, do not dismay. Do not allow people to discourage you.

Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your dream and cheer you up.

People who “coach” you through tough times, and cherish your wins. Even small win counts!

Achieving a dream is a process (just like the grieving process); it may take time, but it does not matter. Start taking the first step today.

Even if you are facing a crisis, a difficult time, or a loss. You can still dream for a better life because…there is life after a loss, and it is precious.

So, what do you need to follow your dream?  I have found these values to be of great help:

  • Desire (to make it happen!)
  • Believe in yourself
  • Perseverance
  • Self-discipline
  • Self-confidence
  • Having a high intention (something bigger than you)
  • Resilience during challenging times
  • Being optimistic
  • Being flexible
  • Being fearless

So, do not wait for better times to pursue your dream. The time is now!

Your life is finite, and you do not want to waste more time in dreaming what you wish you could be, do, or give.

Do it now with love, care, and…meaning.

Remember…Your Life has Meaning!

Ligia M. Houben