Sometimes, life changes us in an instant. We feel that everything is in order, but suddenly, something unexpected shakes us and confronts us with a loss: the death of a loved one, an illness, the loss of a job, a separation. It’s as if someone turned off the light switch and left us in the dark. We find ourselves in an unknown, dark space, not knowing how to move.
Even though we can’t control change, we can decide how to deal with it despite the great pain. We can stay in the dark, or we can look within ourselves for a way to light a new light.
The Impact of Unexpected Change
When we face a loss, our life becomes a blink of an eye. We are no longer the same, even if we would like to remain the same. Fear, sadness, and uncertainty are natural responses. Suddenly, what we know disappears and we are forced to adapt to a different reality.
However, the key is to be aware that change does not have to define us, but that we can define what kind of change it will be, and how we are going to experience it.
Three Steps to Managing Change After a Loss
1. Accepting the New Reality
Acceptance does not mean resignation but rather acknowledging what has happened and allowing ourselves to feel. Only when we accept the present, rather than resist it, can we begin to build the future.
2. Choosing our attitude
Although we can’t control what happens to us, we can always control our response.
We can live with suffering or with an open heart to know what we can learn from ourselves. It all depends on the attitude which we face each day.
3. In the dark, the hardest thing is to take the first step.
Remember that even a small movement brings us closer to the light.
Ask yourself: What action can I take today to start moving forward in my journey?
Lighting our way
It is natural to feel lost after a loss, however little by little, our mind and heart adjust to the new reality. And when we decide to turn on our own light, we discover that within us there has always been the ability to transform pain into growth.
Today, I invite you to reflect:
If your life were a dark room right now, where do you think you can find a switch?
From my heart to yours,
Ligia M. Houben
