December is a month filled with festivities. People spend time in celebrations, taking advantage of the sales of the season, and sharing time with family and friends. We are exposed to many stimuli and may not take the time to reflect, to be with ourselves, to take a break. Still, it is now, when the

Although the Holidays are special days filled with joy, celebrations, and shared times, for some people the Holidays symbolize a time of nostalgic memories, losses, and remembrance. These feelings of loss may bring grief to our souls that at times cannot be expressed or shared with others, especially when one is supposed to be cheerful

As I was doing my reflection this morning, I was pondering what life is all about and thought about the famous words of Socrates, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Are we taking the time to examine our life at a deep level? It dawned on me that many of us live on autopilot.

Only You Can Make The Change was last modified: July 28th, 2019 by Ligia Houben

Some time ago, I heard an interview of Reid Tracy with Suze Orman on Your Relationship with Your Money Begins with Your Relationship with Yourself.  I felt compelled to write this message today because I believe this is related to other areas of our lives.  If you are like many people who wonder how to

New beginnings can be promising. New beginnings can be scary. It all depends on our perspective and attitude. Every beginning involves change and most of us like what is familiar. Many of us do not welcome change. Still, everything changes.  Life changes. Things change. People change. So, what happens if our life is confronting a

If you are one of those persons who constantly state,  I am so stressed out!  I do not have time for anything!  Life was more relaxed before!  I feel so overwhelmed! What price are you paying for feeling this way, in your personal relationships? Your health?  Your job’s performance? The quality of your life? Many people feel they are victims of what is happening to them.  Do you feel you are one of them? What are you doing about it?   Do you expect things will get better by themselves or are you taking action?  It all starts with our mind. It all starts with our attitude. It all starts with our commitment.  I once heard a wonderful audiobook by the world-known speaker Jim Rohn, where he said these wise words:   If you want to be successful, study success!If you want to be happy, study happiness!  I tell you….if you want to be relaxed and calm….learn techniques to be calmer and relaxed.  Many people say to me: How lucky, you do not have problems!  Well…I do face many challenges in life and what I do is, I choose to respond instead of reacting. You can also learn how to do it!First, I have learned to choose my vocabulary. I do my best to avoid using the word problem (sometimes it slips, but I correct myself immediately!).  I choose to use the word, challenge. And then, I transform it into opportunity. Just with that slight change…my whole perspective changes.  Just like you,

Fear is an emotion that influences our actions and behavior. Its purpose is to protect us from danger. Too often, however, we humans respond fearfully to false perceptions of danger. I love the definition of fear by American author, salesman and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar: False Evidence Appearing Real. Because fear is innate to our

Do you find yourself regretting things you didn’t do or achieve or keeping grudges for past hurts or disappointments? Do you feel stuck because of this huge weight instead of living with joy and hope? Many times in our lives we go through situations which may cause us pain and instead of letting go of

I like to explore the issue of Taking Care of Yourself.  In this post I want to elaborate on the issue of caregiving.  Some time ago, I was recently interviewed for a TV documentary on caregivers. In that particular case, the program was on Caregiving at the End of Life, but the principles can be

Human Beings Can Alter Their Lives by Altering Their Attitude                                                  -William James Our attitude is the disposition we have regarding a situation, a person, or life in general. We can have

If you responded, you are not, let me tell you that…we are all writers.   Every single day we write a page in the book of our lives.  In this article, I want to bring to your awareness how important it is to pay attention to the actions we take, and we do not take.  As

Whatever you want to achieve in life…follow your dream.  Remember to think big, and you will be able to transform your life. Nothing can stop you but your own mind. Napoleon Hill, in his seminal work, Think and Grow Rich stated: “What the mind can conceive, it can achieve. ” It all starts with having

I wrote this article after the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, which happened very close to each other in June 2018.  After reading the sad news about the suicide of the Olympic cyclist Kelly Catlin, I wanted to repost it again.  The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that every 40 seconds a person

Are you in touch with your inner self?  Do you know what your values, needs, and fears are? Do you live according to the things that are meaningful to you? We live in a constantly changing world. We are exposed to new ideas and concepts on a regular basis. We are actually information overloaded!  How

When we face the death of a loved one, we are expected to grieve. It is natural. Now, what about when we face a challenging and devastating life transition, such as a divorce?   Going through a divorce can turn our lives upside down, leaving us baffled, and without strength and hope. How can we continue? 

If you are facing a difficult life transition now, people may tell you: It’s about time you feel better.  You cannot be sad (or angry, or anxious) all the time. You should distract yourself and stop thinking about what has happened to you (even if you lost your loved one and you DO NOT KNOW

Many times, when someone confronts a loss and returns to their workplace, colleagues avoid talking about the situation and even act as if nothing has happened. What happens to the bereaved? Does she feel validated? Most likely she felt lonely and invalidated since nobody has shown empathy or compassion. Frequently, based on my experience with

You may not choose to suffer, but you can choose to transform your suffering into a meaningful life.                                                                                                                                      Samet M. Kumar In life we may experience many losses and sometimes it is not easy to confront what we must live, but we must realize that our life and the lives of others have

Be the change you want to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi As we start a new year, many people take the opportunity of planning the year ahead.  They set goals with great expectation and anticipation. Some of them focus on the physical dimension, starting a new diet or engaging in a new plan

There are times in your life when you face a crisis, and you need to decide either to quit or to persist. How do you know what the best decision is? When we face a situation that seems too difficult to endure, and you doubt you have the strength to withstand it or that it

These are is the last days of 2018 and it is the perfect opportunity to review the year and evaluate our lives. For this process, I want to offer some resources that may be meaningful to you: I know this year has been difficult for many people. Maybe you have experienced a significant loss in

People ask me if bereavement support groups help. It is my belief they do if you are open to share and receive. Still, we know not everyone is for support groups. However, if you are, support groups offer you a safe space to open your heart and share your journey with others who have also

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. Jim Rohn   Life changes and we change along with it.  If you are like me, you may be experiencing changes in life patterns, in life expectations and outcomes.  What you envisioned your life to

When we are consumed by grief, we may feel we are the only persons hurting, and we may not notice the pain of others.  Furthermore, we may be so blinded by our grief that we may say or do things that are hurting people we love. If this has happened to you…do not feel ashamed,

As I work with many people going through losses or life transitions, I have been able to see the effect our attitude has on how we handle the situation. Some people face a small problem and find themselves hopeless, afraid, or with no motivation. Other people face huge losses and are able to withstand their

This was the title of the talk I gave on September 15th at the volunteer’s orientation of Compassionate Care Hospice. It was an extraordinary occasion as hospice care is very close to my heart. The orientation was prepared by Mrs. Wanda Garcia, The Volunteer Coordinator and started with some words of Mrs. Mimi Israel, The

We have the blessing of living in a free country where we can become whoever we want to be, do whatever, we want to do and go wherever we want to go. Still, many times we choose to stay in the same place; doing things we do not enjoy doing or dreaming to be the

We are living in amazing times! Because of technology, in a matter of seconds, we can get in touch with anybody in any part of the world.  The world has become more integrated. We can communicate via email, video conferences, phone, text…We are so connected! But wait…are we really connected? We may be connecting with

Little things are numerous and therefore become important. Julio C. Martínez A. As we start a new year let’s choose an attitude that will help us achieve dreams, goals, make changes, and become a better version of ourselves. Only one day takes us from one year to the next, however, psychologically it can have a

In this busy world we are living do you ever wonder how your life is evolving?  Where are you going? Where have you been? The day I do the greatest evaluation of my life is on my birthday, which was a few days ago.  As I unwrapped the gift of a new year of life,

Learn how to separate the majors and the minors. A lot of people don’t do well simply because they major in minor things. — Jim Rohn Our days on this Earth are limited. Although we may avoid thinking about this reality, we are not immortal and our loved ones are not immortal. Are we appreciating

The word love has only 4 letters, yet it encompasses so much that at times is hard to define.   Besides, being an abstract and complex concept, it is not easy to describe it.. In this message, and being this month dedicated to love, I will share with you how I define love.  Let’s keep in

If you feel desperate because you find yourself in a situation where you cannot find a way out, I want to share with you, certain techniques or tips that you can do to help you deal with your emotions. When living a difficult situation, sometimes we do not want to get out of bed to

According to the famous suicidologist, Edwin Schneidman, suicide happens when a person is experiencing psychache (psychological pain) which is impossible to bear. In his seminal work, Definition of Suicide, Schneidman stated that the most common emotion a person who is contemplating suicide experiences is hopelessness-helplessness. Taking this valuable information into consideration, we can take a

This message is about you. It is a reminder of the special and unique person you are.  You are an amazing human being with talents; with great qualities; with many gifts and yes, with some shortcomings as well.  That is what makes you who you are!   This week I want you to embrace the person you

As you start the year, take a pause and decide how you want this year to be. What do you want to achieve?  What dreams do you want to make a reality? What things do you want to let go? The first day of the year is the perfect time to make that decision. You

If you are like me, you live in a world of distraction.  Multiple things have the potential of distracting us from what we intend to do.  For example, you may be one of those people who logs into the internet with the intention to look for something that would take few minutes, and then go

  A few days ago, as I was driving and listening to NPR, as I usually do, and I heard an amazing interview on the program Fresh Air with Terry Gross. The interview was with Jordan Peele, director of the film Get Out, which is a horror movie. As Terry asked him how he got

Happiness is not something you expect for tomorrow; it is something you decide for today.                                                      -Ligia M. Houben           Are You Choosing to be Happy? All human beings strive for happiness. When we face a life-changing event, time does not stop. Life continues, and we continue living as well. One of the greatest reasons for

Most people as the New Year arrives plan to commit to a change in their lives; something that will make them feel happier, better, and more successful.  Are you one of these people?  If you are…have, you stayed committed to your goal? As we start the second month of 2017, you may find yourself stuck,

This message is about you. It is a reminder of the special and unique person you are.  You are an amazing human being with talents; with great qualities; with many gifts and yes, with some shortcomings as well.  That is what makes you who you are!   This week I want you to embrace the person you

The Last Reflection of 2016   In just a few weeks, 2016 will be gone and we will be ready to start 2017, which brings new promises; new opportunities; new beginnings. Therefore, before embarking on a new year, it is a good idea to look back and reflect what this year has meant to us. As

Loss of identity   Do you find yourself wondering what has happened to your old self? Have you lost connection with who you are? Do you feel lost and without any direction? There is a loss that seems to be prevalent in our society. It is the loss of identity. When we talk about losses,

Own your thoughts. Own your emotions. Own your actions. Owning your thoughts means you are in control of what goes on in your mind. What comes in; what stays; and what you discard. You stop being a victim of external factors. As Paulo Cohelo says in “The Alchemist”: At a certain point in our lives,