Owning Your Thoughts Makes You Free

mindOwn your thoughts. Own your emotions. Own your actions.
Owning your thoughts means you are in control of what goes on in your mind. What comes in; what stays; and what you discard. You stop being a victim of external factors. As Paulo Cohelo says in “The Alchemist”: At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie. As you own your thoughts, you start responding instead of reacting, and you own the quality of your life.
You may remember that in my previous newsletter, I mentioned the movie The Sound of Music. I bring it again because as Julie Andrews, sang My Favorite Things, she used the technique of changing her thoughts.

 

These are some of the lyrics:
My Favorite Things
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites, when the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad…

 

The last words are so powerful! Just by changing her thoughts she was able to change how she felt!

Now, what about you?  What are your most common thoughts?  How do they make you feel?

At this moment think about three of your favorite things and write them somewhere. We’ll go back to them later.

When I do seminars and ask the participants, how many of you entertain an inner conversation? Everybody raise their hands. We all give ourselves messages.  What is fundamental to notice is what type of message we are giving to ourselves. When we discuss principle 9th which is Modify your Thoughts, I remind people we may not be able to change the event. However, we are always able to modify how we think.

I know there are times when we experience tough life transitions or changes. I am not implying you deny your emotions. It’s important and necessary to acknowledge them, validate them, and process them (remember my 4th Principle, Express your Feelings).  The choice we make is either to stay in a dark place or to allow a ray of light illuminate our personal space.

I know there are times when we experience tough life transitions or changes. I am not implying you deny your emotions. It’s important and necessary to acknowledge them, validate them, and process them (remember my 4th Principle, Express your Feelings).  The choice we make is either to stay in a dark place or to allow a ray of light illuminate our personal space.

You start by paying attention what you say to yourself.  You may be in a situation where all you do is to think about it. What makes you stay in that place? What is the ulterior motive?  We always respond the best way we can. Behind any action, there is a positive intention. What is your intention behind your thoughts? If these are not helping you…you can always change them.

How can you start changing how you feel?

First, making the decision, you WANT to feel different.
The moment you make the commitment to yourself you want to change how you feel, it will happen. Always keep in mind there are events out of our control. What you are changing, in this case, is what you think about it.

Second, observe your thoughts for a week
You may not be aware of the messages you are giving to yourself on a regular basis. Keep track of them in a journal without judging them. In order to change something, we need to be aware of it.

Third, decide which thoughts are limiting and not helping you.
Evaluate your most prominent thoughts and see where from they originate. You may be stuck in a painful situation. It may be necessary to process it and release the emotion. Additionally, it may be you are perpetuating how you feel with your recurrent thoughts.

Fourth, replace them with thoughts about your favorite things.
This is the time to use your three favorite things. Think about them and notice how you feel. What emotions do they bring to you? Notice how you feel when thinking about them. Do you see the difference? It is just a matter of shifting the perspective. And THIS you can do!

Fifth, start giving yourself empowering and positive messages.
Now that you experienced the ability to change your emotions, you can start fueling your mind with thoughts that can help you be happier; more productive; more successful; more peaceful. This is just a matter of practice until it becomes a habit. First, you do it consciously until it becomes increasingly automatic. Believe me. It happened to me. I started just where you are. I learned to shift my thoughts until this became second nature. I share it with you because I also want you to be happier. My way of thinking has helped me overcome great difficulties and painful situations. You can also do it. Believe in yourself.




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